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Jocko DeZebra

New and at long last: ZEBRA SALUTATIONS – ebook available now on Amazon

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TWO NOSES

my moms apple pie is in front of me
behind me a bouquet of roses
it’s times like this that i’m so grateful
that i was born with two noses

Skatterbrained Skydiving

I like to jump out of airplanes “WOO-HOO!”
and fall fast through the sky
I look at the clouds and the birds and the ground
rushing up, rushing past, rushing by

To skydive well you need to prepare
And buy all of the available products
I’ve spared no expense to keep myself safe
(I practically emptied my wallet)

My helmet helps to keep my head whole
My goggles protect both of my eyes
My altimeter gives me my altitude
And how quickly it’s flying by
My jumpsuit helps keep my body warm
my shoes cushion both of my feet
I do believe I’ve covered it all
what else could a skydiver need

Yes I certainly have thought of everything,
If there’s a jumper’s tool I have bought it
Ok, now it’s time to pull the-oops

oh shoot
my chute…i forgot it
31_CCF10042017_00017a.png

The Spectacular Dracula

25_CCF10042017_00029.pngthe spectacular dracula with his favorite spatula
he’s always cooking up eggs
he’s a happy-go-lucky dracula
from his eyebrows down through his legs

the spectacular dracula with his favorite spatula
he cooks them scrambled, boiled or fried
he’ll prepare them thousands of ways for you
he’s all eggs, all of the time

This spectacular dracula is thank goodness a bachelor
its quite for the best you see
Though eggs may be quite tasty, a bit flatulent they make he

I asked this bachelor, this interesting dracula
with peaked curiosity
“whats with the eggs? why not blood? Please make some sense to me”

That old dracula with his smile so spectacular
just waved at me his favorite spatula
then replied to me in the vernacular:

“you might think that drinking blood comes to me naturally
but i gave it a try and didnt care for it
it made me sort of queasy”

Then the spectacular dracula raised his spatula and pointed it at me
I said “you’ve sold me egg man-
I’ll take two over-easy”

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