PLEASE BUY MY PET DOLPHIN

Will someone please buy my pet dolphin?
I’m selling him dirt cheap
It just hasn’t worked out having a dolphin
He barely lets me sleep

I made a birthday wish last month
Over the candles on my cake
I wished for a dolphin of my very own
And fear I’ve made a humongous mistake

His squeaking is loud and it keeps me awake
And I know he does it on porpoise
Most days I think I made a mistake
And should have gotten a tortoise

He pitches a fit when the tv is on
If it’s not a show for him
He’s kind of shellfish in that way
All shows must be things that swim
He’s drenched all of my magazines
He’s soaked every picture I’ve drawn
He’s destroyed every piece of electronics
And all of my sardines are gone

Oh someone please buy my pet dolphin
I don’t think I can take much more
I already tried (unsuccessfully)
To bring him back to the store

I’m filthy and smelly and starting to itch
Because when I go to scrub-a-dub,
The biggest reason I’m over this dolphin
Is he’s always hogging the tub27_CCF10042017_00039.png